Desires

We all have things in life we dearly want and without which we see our existence dwindling in the twilight of our foreseeable future.For many years ,I have based my life around one such desire .Even though I make it a policy of expressing things unsaid in the written form,I will keep this one thing undisclosed.

For me ,Desires are what run the human life. Without them ,the very existence is questionable unless someone is planning to make his career in the field of "Sadhu-ism"(which again in the modern age is not possible).Some desire for love, some for peace ,some for desire,some for success ,some for money,some for revenge and some for lust. The hard fact being that every point of your life ,childhood ,teenage, adult or old-age , all is driven by a desire in one form or the other . Desires are like oxygen(orgasms) which sustain life (passion).

Its almost unnatural to not have any desires . Its innate and almost as uncontrollable as your sneeze . A desire can take birth at any minute .You might not even know the point of life when a particular Desire took its inception in your self .The proportions to which your Desires grow ,depends on how much time you have nurtured it,though about it and had a belief that its going to happen one day."Hope", is what Desires feed on .A famous movie quotes (Shawshank Redemption )-"Hope is a dangerous thing " ,therefore by rule of equivalency,"Desires too are dangerous ".

When a Desire begins too big ,big enough that every aspect of your life is directed to some-how achieve that and the very thought of your Desire not coming true breaks you into a schizophrenic state , it either makes or breaks the individual (mostly breaks ).The Euphoria of accomplishment is obviously unprecedented,but so is the doom and grief of failure or lose .In-fact for me its more . Just imagine a situation ,where in you fight everyday for a Desire for the past few years only to know that "its not going to happen ever ".There's this pressure that builds on your heart which makes it heavy ,you constantly gasp for air and you just want to blurt it all out in bellows ,screeches and tears .Its not the lost time or sense of failure ,but its the emotions you attached to it .Its the pain and frustration of letting your desires overtake your individuality .Its the sorrow of losing your own identity in your eyes , because for the past few years that's what had defined you for yourself.

Its been nearly a decade when I had this Desire. And again for the same decade I have known that its "never gonna happen".In spite of this,I had let this Desire control my life in the false "Hope" of some sort "Magic". This is the most dangerous situation,not knowing when to "Let it Go" .We keep fighting for it even when its over because we have become used to it .Its hard to imagine life without that Desire. Its more the punishment that you have made yourself accustomed to . 

Its difficult to get over Desires and I have no idea how to do that,especially when they keep playing hide&seek with your emotional inner-child ."Time" is the only "healer" for these heartaches ,that I know of ,who does it for free ,else you can get all the "paid " help you want. .

Caught was he in the storm of his Desires ,

Just drifting along somewhere in the middle ,

His mind was a maze and life a riddle

He didn't know where to go, couldn’t do it alone he tried

And he didn’t know why.


He was just a guy lost in the moment

He was so scared but he didn’t show it

He couldn't figure it out

It’s bringing him down, he knew

He had got to let it go,he always knew.