Cross-Roads

Its a Tuesday night . The night has set in with all its elements . The cool breeze and the warm cup of tea in my hand have set a perfect tone. The streets are deserted, just a few pedestrians making their way home. Few street kids are smilingly engaged in a game of marbles.There is a sense of freedom in their smile,no strings attached. The mere happiness of seeing happy kids , makes me wonder where my happiness, the one with no "strings attached" is .


My life has been at crossroads for the past few days .On the path of everyone's life , there is always a moment when you have two roads ahead of you , one is the right ,one that you wanna take and that will take you towards your happiness .The other is the wrong one , one that demands sacrifice ,that will take you to despair ,doom and unhappiness .Success you can get from either paths because it depends how much effort ,will and motivation you put in . The only difference is the happiness and the satisfaction of doing what you want . I am at a similar junction ,the only difference that both the roads are wrong roads and the right road doesn't exist or is presently invisible .The decision to be made is which wrong road will bring in lesser gloom .


One of the most complicated tasks any of us will face in life is the concept of making the right decision. Every few seconds we have the opportunity to change our lives. Our careers. Our happiness. By taking that opportunity the lives of many others, some of which we will never meet, will forever be changed as well.The small decisions are simple. You may not even notice you are making them, but our brain has an efficient way of going into auto-pilot on tasks we do often.

What about those life changers. The ones that you can’t go into auto-pilot with. Where the only help others can give you is common sense. “Do what will make you happy“, is a generic response in life. Would you ever truly want to do something that makes you unhappy?

Instead of a simple black and white decision we are presented with a handful of options. None clear cut. None with reassurance of long term happiness.It is becoming more apparent that some decisions are more attractive than others. But none of them are ideal. Pulling the trigger on an exciting, high-risk decision may turn out to fail more quickly. Big promises rarely ever pan out. Just need to take the heart out of the equation.

Go After The One You Love

We need to move away from this constant need of coming across as calm, cool and collected. WE WEREN’T BUILT TO BE CALM, COOL, AND COLLECTED. If we were, it wouldn’t feel so exhausting all the time. It would, you know, come naturally to us. You know what comes naturally to human beings though? Being open, being messy, being raw, being unfiltered, having lots of feelings. Why should we have to stifle our true nature? Let’s go after the things we want, let’s love each other brutally and honestly, and not worry about the consequences. Let’s release the feelings inside of us and let them land somewhere special. Otherwise, we might have a lifetime of longing in front of us.

Imagine being surrounded with “what if”s and “how come”s and not being able to do anything about it because you’re too old now, you’ve been edged out of society and the only thing you have left to do now is die. That’s what will happen to you if you keep on holding the love in.  

It’s a rare thing to do these days, to really let yourself be raw and vulnerable.People hide behind their phones, they carefully curate their communication with other people, which makes honest moments few and far between. We remain frozen and in perpetual fear that we’ll come off as “crazy” to someone, we’re unhinged.

Harvey Milk once said "



Go after her.Don’t sit there and wait for her to call, go after her because that’s what you should do if you love someone, don’t wait for them to give you a sign cause it might never come, don’t let people happen to you, don’t let me happen to you, or her, she’s not a television show or tornado. There are people I might have loved had they gotten on the airplane or run down the street after me or called me up drunk at four in the morning because they need to tell me right now and because they cannot regret this and I always thought I’d be the only one doing crazy things for people who would never give enough of a fuck to do it back or to act like idiots or be entirely vulnerable and honest and making someone fall in love with you is easy and flying 3000 miles on four days notice because you can’t just sit there and do nothing and breathe into telephones is not everyone’s idea of love but it is the way I can recognize it because that is what I do. Go scream it and be with her in meaningful ways because that is beautiful and that is generous and that is what loving someone is, that is raw and that is unguarded, and that is all that is worth anything, really.