LOVE STORY-PART II

Disclaimer: The incidents or events mentioned in the blog are purely fictional. Any resemblance to living or dead is purely coincidental....

The shock of those 5 minutes had rocked my world (big Jackson fan).My weak sentimental part wanted to moan but the cerebral juices (the logical ones, I don’t care what they are!!!) prevailed to stop that momentous urge. Somehow the school hours passed. Traumatized by the events of the day I walked my way home. I gobbled my lunch and went to sleep. Three hours of sleep but the inner me was still heavy. Pure "Devdas" waali feeling thi!!!(Told you big Bollywood fan).To make the Devdas in me more realistic I decide to drink (complan nahi, daaru-desi, and suttas were complimentary!!).The heinous taste added to my internal pains (because after the heart now even the stomach was on fire).Somehow managing to reach my home, I slept and night just passed away....

Next morning she was all happy and gay (not the other way round) and I was quiet and distraught..

She saw through my silence.

"Kya hua”, her voice reached my eardrums but my brain didn’t respond!!!!

"Kya hua hai!!! Plz tell me".

"kuch nai", replied the lost me. It was hard to emotify the excruciating pain I was going through. Trust me, loving a very close friend can be a very humdrum affair. I needed time to make myself what i really wanted. I could not lose her friendship (she was my best friend!!!, the closest who will ever be to me)..

I decide to shut the doors of love .Promised myself, never to speak a word (It took a year and a half to break this promise).Final exams came. She passed, I passed....and the story continues .....

There is something I've been meaning to say.

I can't stop thinking about you everyday.

I have feelings for you I can't explain.

I feel that I have fallen again.

You're on my mind day and night.

Being with you feels so right.

When I'm with you I feel so great.

Meeting you I feel was fate.

I love looking deep into your eyes.

I trust you and know you don't tell me lies.

Talking to you has taught me a lot.

You've helped me cherish what I've got.

There's a lock on my heart, you hold the key.

I love how sweet you are to me.

Words can't describe how I feel about you.

I wish there was someway that you knew.

What If All I Want To Do Is Breathe?

It seems to me every decision I am required to take now will have consequences in epic proportions. How I wish to make my money, how far I want to educate myself and who I want to share the rest of my life with seems to be questions which suddenly have a deadline attached. Like you spent 25 yrs of your life preparing to answer these questions which then are supposed to decide how the next 25 will go.

There are things you want to do, and things you think you should do and then there are things which people will give you endless advice on. Now is the time when the world shall get decided into those who are settled and those who are not. The have's and the have not's.

But what if all I want to do is breathe and breathe in peace.

To read to my hearts content, new world's unfurling in my imagination;
To write, to create with words what is my own which neither be bought nor stolen away,
To cook, the smell of the spices & the colors on my chopping board intermingling in a colorful riot as I sail away on another gastronomic adventure,
To tie my laces and set off wandering by myself, exploring markets and lanes new to me in familiar cities,
Or to even be flown away or driven away to another new place, a new hill to be climbed, new beaches to watch sunsets by, new pebbles in the river under my feet,
Old friends with whom new food must be tried and old conversations continued,
New friends to be made, new lives discovered & new stories to be heard,
There is always the old stuff which you love to do like chasing kites & eating maggie at the most random places & drinking games & drenching in the rains ....
And all the new stuff which have to be tried out like acting and dance classes & all the new clubs and restaurants.
And then there is the endless learning curve of life.

Sigh, I still don't have the answers to any of the above life threatening decisions but I hope I will have the guts to do what I really want to and not give in to my fear induced decisions. I guess you can never really tell how life will turn out but it really helps when you are doing what you really believe in as opposed to doing what everyone else is doing or what everyone else believes in.